[TT] Ghost of Christmas Past

I'm bring back the PERSONAL in PERSONAL blog. This holiday season, I've been counting my blessings and remembering the people who have been in my life who have made me who I am today. Unfortunately, some of these people are no longer a part of my life and, as much as I am saddened by this fact, I know it is for the better. So here, I decided to send out messages to those who...maybe by chance...will stumble upon my blog and just know that I am grateful for them and that I hope they know I wish them all the best, wherever they may be.

A: Hi stranger. Whenever we talk, there's always a sting of tension and awkwardness that we probably will never shake off, but I just wanted to thank you for being in my life. You made the first year of my University career much more bearable and you definitely supported me in ways you probably didn't imagine you did. I apologize for keeping my distance when it all went down. I wish we had remained on communicating terms, since I felt we really could talk to each other. Good luck in Hong Kong though, I always knew your heart was there anyway, haha.

B: I have a lot to thank you for mostly because, through you, I have met the wonderful people who are in my life now. Because of you, I have come to understand what it means to be self-less in a relationship instead of being what I thought self-less was when I was with you. I hope that you find your calling in life and find happiness. I let my selfishness get in the way of us being friends, but I know you said you would support me 112%, so I hope your little saying still rings true.

J: I hear things about you now and then. I'll admit that I was very angry at you for pulling that stunt on me, but it definitely showed me who my true friends were. I don't care what you think about me because everything I've done, I can answer with no shame that I have done nothing wrong. I just want you to know that I hope you find happiness and find love like at once I did for you. Just because our future didn't have us written together, doesn't mean I don't want you to be happy. You've taught me a lot and I truly appreciate it. I learned a lot about myself as well as various social skills I would have never learned on my own.

M: I know you'll never speak to me again, but I just want you to know I still think about you sometimes. I hear you've found love and are starting a family now. Congratulations! I hope you can extend the same courtesy to me as I really bear no ill-will towards you and do not understand why we cannot be friends. I just wanted to be honest with you and for us to talk things out because I do value our friendship, no matter what you think about me. I wish you all the best from the bottom of my heart.

SY/G: Where are you? I feel incredibly bad that our friendship just seemed to end as you always said it did. I tried contacting you a few times but it seems either you don't want to talk to me or you just haven't received my messages. Whatever the reason, I think about all the times we spent together and I miss you dearly. You are an awesome person and I hope your life has been great. By the way, I can drive now. Sorry for almost getting you killed that one time. I think you'd be super proud of me. My number hasn't changed...in fact, none of our numbers have changed. Please feel free to contact any of us.

If your name isn't on the list, please don't fret. It probably means that you are very much in my present and I love all the wonderful friends and acquaintances I have accumulated over the years. These are just the people who have been a part of my life and perhaps...are no longer. I really hope that my messages get through to at least one person I addressed here. I hope to blog again real soon before the holiday festivities get into full swing. Until then, goodbye.

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